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Elgin Illinois Family Law Blog

Will your relationships be ruined when you get a divorce?

Divorcing is hard enough when you consider that you're leaving a spouse whom you've partnered with for years. However, it becomes even harder when you realize that some of the people you've come to love and care about may take sides and no longer want you in their lives. It's a common occurrence during a divorce for shared friends to distance themselves from one partner or the other, just as you may find it harder to speak with your mother- or father-in-law.

When you get married, the idea is that you're truly joining two families together. That union can be completely destroyed upon divorce, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes, couples who divorce amicably can resolve conflicts and end on good terms, leaving some room for the relationships that were formed to continue. Other times, one spouse doesn't want the other to be in any contact with their family any longer.

Stressed about divorce? You're not alone

If there is anything in the world that can stress you out, it's having to end a relationship. You never liked breaking up with your partners in the past, and now that you're married, it's even harder to admit that you don't want to be with your spouse.

You've both talked about divorcing before, but nothing ever came from those discussions. Now, you've decided to make the first move and file the paperwork, but that doesn't come without stress. You don't want to see this situation become a major dispute. You don't want to be stressed out even more after you make this decision.

How can you help your child understand your custody plan?

When it comes to child custody, it can be a delicate topic. It's never easy to spend time away from your child, but it may be a requirement after a divorce.

You and your estranged spouse are both good people, so you decided on a custody schedule that gives you both around 50% of the time with your child. You want to make sure that this is an easy transition for your child, too. What are some things you can do to make the custody plan simpler for your child to understand and follow? Here are three tips.

The child isn't yours? Speak up during your divorce

There are always couples who have called into question the biological parentage of their children. Perhaps one woman slept with a different man during her marriage and got pregnant. Maybe there is a question about the legitimacy of the child and their relation to the woman's husband.

If the couple decides to divorce, this could cause a major issue, especially if the father does not want to pay support. When married, the husband is generally assumed to be the father of a child, so the obligation to pay support is already there. However, if you don't think that the child is yours, then that might create a different set of circumstances in which your attorney can ask the court to relieve you of those duties.

How can you reduce the cost of divorce?

Few people go into a marriage concerned that it could end in divorce. In fact, most people who get married do so with the belief that the person they're with is someone they will stay with.

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out. If you find that you can't stand being married to your spouse, then you may be looking into divorce to give you a way out.

Coping with custody changes is essential after divorce

When you don't have full custody of your child, it can be hard to get used to seeing them less often than usual. You may not be sure what to do with your time or how to cope with their absence.

As a parent going through this, it's important that you take care of yourself and are present for your child on the days you do have custody. While it can be lonesome and frustrating, it's important for you to take steps to be happy and productive, so your child can learn from your successes.

What's the truth about child support?

Child support is something most divorcing couples talk about when they have children. Whichever party has the children more often may be entitled to child support, so that their children can live in a more financially stable home.

Child support is paid by those who do not have full custody. You can choose to enter into a support agreement voluntarily, through an administrative agency or because of a court order.

Avoid divorce drama with these 3 tips

No divorce is simple, even if both parties are willing to work together to resolve it. While many couples are able to avoid divorce court and settle through mediation, arbitration or their own negotiations, others run into trouble with disputes they simply can't get past.

If you are going through a divorce, there are some tips that can help you avoid disputes like those, so you can move on. Here are three tips to help you negotiate and end your divorce more quickly.

Divorcing? Here are the basics of what you should know

If you've decided to get a divorce from your spouse, you may be ready to separate but not know how to go about doing so. The steps you take next could impact your case over time, so it's smart to do what you can to prepare.

Usually, people discuss the idea of a divorce before going to their attorneys, but it can be more beneficial to you to seek support from an attorney before you speak with your spouse about divorce. Why? Once you speak with your spouse, they could make it harder for you to access your bank account or shared accounts, limit access to certain assets or even hide assets that you don't have proof of existing. Taking the time to collect documents and speak with your attorney first helps avoid that situation.

How can you ease the tension of your custody arrangements?

Child custody can become a contentious topic for some couples, and it is easy for you to shut down and stop listening when your ex-spouse gets angry or frustrated with the situation. For your own sanity and the sake of your children, it's important that you and your ex-spouse are able to be civil with one another.

Being reasonable is possible, even if you and your ex-spouse don't get along. Some easy ways to help ease the tension of your custody arrangements include:

  • Trying to give plenty of notice if you need changes made to the schedule for special events
  • Allowing for reasonable changes if and when necessary
  • Considering third-party safe drop-off points for your child if you and your ex-spouse argue or fight in person
  • Speaking directly with one another to address issues
  • Doing your best to respect your ex-spouse's parenting, whether that means upholding a reasonable punishment or sticking to a bedtime routine that works well for your child
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