When parents divorce and share custody of their children, they know they’ll need to be in each other’s lives forever. While they won’t have to interact regularly and deal with things like child support and custody orders as their kids get older, there are still big occasions that will bring them together.
One of the first of these, as the child is on the precipice of adulthood, is their high school graduation. It’s nearly that time for many parents. If you’re among them, you may be dreading having to interact with your ex as well as possibly your former in-laws and their new partner or spouse.
Even if you have a relatively amicable relationship with your co-parent, a big day like this can bring out the worst in people. Here are just a few tips to help the day be memorable for the right reasons.
Be prepared
It can help to do some role playing with your therapist or a friend to help you be ready for any passive-aggressive or just plain aggressive things your ex might say or do. ChatGPT and similar apps can help as well. By preparing for the worst, you’ll feel more confident and likely be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t happen.
Be ready to de-escalate
If your co-parent or one of their guests seems to be trying to trigger you or even start a fight, don’t give in. If you can, calmly put some distance between you. If you can’t, ignore them or respond calmly and neutrally.
Remember that it’s your child’s day
If you have to put up with some level of unpleasant behavior, remember that the day isn’t about you or your feelings – or your ex’s. Focus on enjoying your child’s accomplishments and making sure they aren’t embarrassed or distressed by anything their parents do.
While many co-parenting agreements end when kids reach 18 or graduate from high school, you may have codified something regarding your child’s college expenses or other support you may be giving them. Whether you have or not, this is a good time to review any child-related agreements with an attorney and determine their status.
