A parenting plan that adults establish often influences family dynamics for years. They have to agree on a specific allocation of parental rights and responsibilities. Frequently, that process begins with a breakdown of parenting time and legal authority.
Parents can also expand on those basic provisions to address other issues that arise while parenting children and teenagers. Having plans in place for the holiday season can be helpful, as holiday stress can easily complicate the dynamic in a co-parenting relationship.
What holiday-related issues may parents want to discuss as they begin developing an in-depth parenting plan?
1. The holiday parenting schedule
The usual allocation of parenting time may not be appropriate during the holidays. Parents often need to work out a specific schedule for dividing the holidays. Many parents choose to alternate holidays. Sometimes, parents split the holidays, allowing the children to spend half of the day with each parent. Low-conflict situations may make it reasonable to actually celebrate jointly on holidays and birthdays.
2. Rules for holiday travel
The winter holidays overlap with extended breaks from school. Parents might want to take time off of work to travel with their children, possibly to visit family in another state. Parents may need to have rules about pre-approval for travel plans or how long one parent can travel with the children around the holidays to help limit conflict and make planning a bit easier. Generally speaking, either parent can usually arrange for travel during their parenting time, as long as the plans do not interfere with the scheduled time of the other parent.
3. Standards for gifts
Gift-giving is a key component of many holiday and birthday celebrations. Some parents are so eager to outshine each other that they go into debt and spend too much on the holidays. Others might make the mistake of buying their children the same gifts because they do not communicate. Establishing guidelines for communicating about gifts can prevent scenarios in which gift-giving becomes a source of conflict between parents.
Parents who think about likely sources of conflict and address them in advance can arrange for more peaceful parenting during even the most stressful experiences. The holidays can be magical for children, but they can be very challenging for parents and family. Planning in advance for common holiday complications when sharing parental rights can lead to a more amicable co-parenting dynamic.
